My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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