But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
