my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
