I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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