Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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