I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
