Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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