singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
