Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
