So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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