There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
