I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My breasts were aching with rage.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
