doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
