everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
