i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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