Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Enjoy the penises
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
