I just cut my nipple shaving
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
