did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
