tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
