All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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