there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
