considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
