her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
