I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
