just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
