...so i touched it.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
