He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
