WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize