they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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