there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
