Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
