Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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