i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wear drunk well.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
