I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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