I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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