If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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