If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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