Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
