Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
