I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
