My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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