Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is the high leading the old right now
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
