I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
