And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
