If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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