i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
