She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
