I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
