He is an equal opportunity slut.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
