I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
