did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
