I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
